All I want from Sinterklaas is Revolution
cut and fold intifada
North rhymes with dark cold
Days are getting shorter, and temperature is getting lower. If you feel numb, it’s because of the lack of sun. Or maybe you are just overworking?
Every year looks like the millennium bag. So much pressure to round up everything, almost as if we will not keep doing the same things in the new year, as if we will not keep working on the same processes that last forever. Plus, I would argue, if everything would actually end with the last day of the year, why are we all here working our asses off instead of doing fun things? It is shaky and distracts me from my journey.
Do you think it is actually possible to write something happy while ranting about deadlines? I don’t think so, so I gave up for this round and tried to focus on what makes me happy while searching for a poem in the archives.
What makes me happy?
Edited poems and oliebollen.
Yes, the ultimate treat of this season is again warm oliebollen, but they can turn into a life disappointment if served cold. The same is true for poems you believed you had edited but haven't yet.
Order
When you write something like three to five pages per day, you end up with around 1460 pages written in one year. If you don’t like to edit -of course I don’t like to sit down and do the work- it means that you end up with a lot of paper and ink that you can throw in the trash can. Or keep it on the shelves, in case you become an appreciated writer after you die -in that case, someone will edit the text for you. It seems convenient if it works out, eventually. -
But since I am not an optimist and I am still a Virgo, I accept the stars and act consequently. So I start to make order.
And then I stop, overwhelmed. How do you make order in your poems if you have more than one thousand handwritten pages? This is a simple, tragic question that has unfortunately only one answer if you struggle with anxiety: you just don’t.
Print and fold keeps you warm
Breaking down the problem can help with finding a solution.
My heart is warm when we talk about revolution.
So instead of ordering following an order, the decision is to assemble in thematic zines poems and visual poetry. I talk here about zines, plural, because this is the ambition. But even if it will not get to its second issue, it doesn’t matter. The first one is about one of my favorite topics ever, Intifada, and it can easily be a stand alone. Yes, I am still dealing with some disappointment towards Sinterklaas by not bringing revolution.
If you are still wondering what the hell a zine is, you can google it. If you are a curious but lazy babe, just know that a zine (pronounced ZEEN) is a cheap self-publication without rules.
My roommate states that this zine looks like a Catholic booklet with prayers. Sorry, but not sorry; I like to think about people praying for revolution while reading my poetry. Plus, this format helped me edit a new poem. And no, ‘A Controversial Piece’ is not exactly new. But today it finally makes its transformation from a spoken word performance to an actual poem.
A Controversial Piece
Silence.
Are you sure?
It’s complex.
Are you sure?
The truth lies always in the middle.
Are you sure?
It’s controversial.
It is a commensurate respons
after a terrorist attack
If you state otherwise
you are supporting Hamas
Am I?
If you scream too loud
five, six, seven eight
Israel terror state
you are silencing Jewish grief
Am I?
Let’s not be that political,
the truth lies always in the middle.
Silence is a considerate path to follow
But is it?
It is too complex to say something
Do not hurt the sensibilities.
It is polarization to take a position
But is it?
In a system
with an unequal power situation
if you don’t speak up
You stand with the oppressor.
Let’s hold hands and scream again
loud and clear. Palestine has to be free
Intifada.
It’s not that controversial,
isn’t it?
HAPPY SCALE
(If you are wondering what this is you can find it here Happy Scale)
A Controversial Piece: 1/10
It’s ok; it happens. On the other hand, the hold and fold of a mini publication made me really happy.
Making a zine: 8/10
The long and the short of it is that if you want to keep yourself warm, you need to move your hands, and if you want to chill after a long day of work, you can plot against the system. Both converge in making your own zine. Remember, the only rule of a zine is that you call it as such; there are no other rules. How cool is that?